There are times when I just don’t feel like going out at all and there are times I want the exact opposite. For a few weeks now, I haven’t really stepped out of my house for God knows what reason and I haven’t updated almost anything. Sure, I go to mass every Sunday (thus going out) and I guess I did explore Trinoma last Sunday too, but that’s just it. Monday till Saturday I’m stuck bored shitless inside the house.
I once called chie during the night and told her my life was so boring. At the same time my brother was trying to poke me. Okay, so my butt’s all that sensitive and I actually feel ticklish there at some point so I was like running with the cordless around the room. Chie was like ‘so that’s the boring life huh?’ ‘yeah’ ‘wish I could live it…’ ‘be my guest chie! Live the boring life… like me!’
Well, maybe there’s a real reason why I don’t want to go out anymore. Ever heard of being stalked? Kate didn’t seem to agree with me when I related to her what happened but I kinda swear it wasn’t just the feeling of being watched. More like being taken pictures of or recorded on cam. Yeah, I’m paranoid, so what? Ever since the December thing (and now the fucked up car that parked right in front of my ma’s place) I’ve been paranoid. What do they want anyway? At the age of 16, it’s quite believable that I haven’t made enemies with powerful people and I’m not really doing anything bad. No, I don’t do drugs nor do I drink on a daily basis. And the hell with the option that those guys want me on some trade. I wear big clothes going out. There’s no way in hell they’ll get me.
Okay, forget it. When school time comes, I’ll have enough time to forget everything. Include that I’m basically a workaholic on my profile.
I remember a friend of mine saying that whenever we bumped into each other, I was always rushing. Yeah, I do agree. I’m always rushing. Rushing towards the classroom, the time limit, the end of the day. It has always been like that, I guess. Honestly, I want to rush school too. I want to finish already and I just want to live a life with a nice job, a nice house and a dog like Misty. The aim’s too big, I know, and most probably I’ll end up trying to make ends meet and die without even paying debts. Of course, I’ll try to change that future. I’m the only one who’s game enough to take it all on. My parents are actually convinced that I’ll get somewhere…
Somehow, it’s hard convincing myself that I will.
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Yipee! The 31st is actually near! Woot! I can’t help but laugh and jump for joy. It’s like getting what I want after everything I’ve been through. It’s like getting chocolates for valentines when you’ve been totally hopeless about getting even one. Yes, I’m going to go splurging. Yes, I’ll enjoy myself (despite having a chaperone… my yaya’s nice, eventually). Yes, I’m going to go fan crazy and take lots of photos. Yes, I’ll try finishing house of the dead 4 (finally!). No, I won’t pay off the lost bet I have with chie and kate. Chie will most definitely get a burger though… if I remember :)
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FF tactics. Call me crazy and old fashioned but tactics is just a gameboy advance game I’ve been crying for since yesterday night. My mom confiscated it cause I’ve been playing it since morning. No, it’s not hard to play but as the title implies, if you haven’t got good tactics, you’ll just basically fail every mission given. Yeah, I’ve lost several times but it’s amusing how I’ve learned how to play a battle, with the winning cards on my hand. The last time I played, Marche finally found Ritz and got disappointed since Ritz didn’t want to change the world she now lived in (ivalice). It must be cool to be able to defeat all kinds of monsters and other clans by the use of magic and swords.
I just felt stupid for not knowing how to pause the game.
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What I’m about to say is a confession: I feel inferior to those who wear make up. Yeah, even my mother.
…
I haven’t thought about yaoi for a long time now, but I guess I miss it now when boredom struck me at the head. Yes, I miss yaoi. Or maybe I haven’t really lived my life ever since the school year ended two months ago. Yeah, I think so. I haven’t even watched one proper show over the summer. Just the same old boring stuff shown on tv… minus the cable.
-shing
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