why am i even answering stuff like this? hahaha

Who`s your crush?
-- *cough*

When`s the last time you saw him/her?
-- june 20, around 5:15 pm >< addik hahahaha

Are you neighbors?
-- not really. i don't even know where he lives lol

Do you know his/her mobile number?
-- oh yeah :D

How about landline?
-- yes. but wait! i don't STALK okay? O_O i just know it...

Do you know where your crush lives?
-- no, although i know the jeep that MAYBE goes there :D

Does your crush even know you?
-- of course i exist and my existance is WAY too awesome not to be noticed so yeah, he knows me :D

How did you first meet?
-- seatmate for a whole month in the review class *wink* (i got lucky ><)

Do you think your crush likes you back?
-- maybe *shrug* i'd LIKE to hold on to some hope but naaaaaaah. i mean, i think it's also normal for him to be nice to girls all the time *rolls eyes*

What song reminds you of him/her?
-- love bug ><

Do you think you`re already inlove?
-- not as of the moment. i know it'll sound all old fashioned and shit, but honestly, i think love today's somewhat distorted so if i say i'm in love with him, i've put the notion of having a crush on him in a totally different level and it's like putting me a notch lower in the self-dignity scale.

Do your friends know about this?
-- oh i BET they do. i bet they even know more that what i know O_O

Is your crush your bestfriend?
-- no, not really :D but he's awesome, tell you that.

Do you talk to a family member about this?
-- i was forced to spill O_O

Was your crush once a part of your dream?
-- you know what, i don't actually remember if he already crossed my dream thereshhold O_O whatever. it's not important anyway.

Do you fantasize about him/her?
-- not really O_O that's... i dunno... i think it's a waste of time *sweat drop*

How old is s/he?
-- my age :D

Where does s/he study?
-- uh... where...? uh... LSM i think :D

Is s/he a heartbreaker?
-- it's more of like he's the one who gets heartbroken lol (that's what i've heard but i CAN be wrong)

Do you have something in common?
-- oh gee... i dunno O_O i seriuosly do NOT know.

Are you somehow related to him/her?
-- the title 'classmate for one summer' :D

What would you say if s/he told you s/he likes you back?
-- 'errr... that's great :D'

:P

from me to you and you to me

(patterned after erieko's journal entry :D -- http://inukkoro07.multiply.com/journal/item/253/A_Letter_to_Someone.?replies_read=2)

Dear ma. katherine. a. magpantay,
I don't really know how to tell you this,I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg outside of your office and I saw you Carve your initials into The elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep Your neighbors dog as a memory. You should also know that I Always wanted to break your legs and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Best of luck on the sex change,
shingles

ending my immorality

yesterday, i must admit i felt really REALLY happy. being able to tell the person you actually like (and who rejected you point out)that you weren't over him was something i never thought i would be able to do, but i did it. being blunt WAS my mission for this week anyway :D

but back to reality, i know he can never allow it. he knows. i KNOW he knows. i actually commend him for being so amazingly awesome. i know it's happened to him before (being thought of as a rebound and such),and i guess he doesn't want that to happen again.

but for the record, i never though of him as a rebound. never would've. never for a thousand years.

i wouldn't go any further than this. this is actually the end. it's like yesterday's parting was somewhat the start of a journey to forget each other, more of like saying good bye than saying 'see you again sometime'. i'm not saying we're different, but we DO have our own lives. i belong to someone else, i'm waiting for some other person besides him. he knows it. he's being considerate, and i appreciate it.

i know this is the point where i have to let go of my summer memories, but as a last word...

thanks. you made me amazingly happy during the moments i felt down, during the times when i was feeling the worst. i really really appreciate everything you've done for me. you're a nice person. i hope you find someone who won't give you troubles like i do :D fall for her okay? you deserve to be happy too.

-shing

40 things :D

(another survey from erieko :P)

40 Secrets About Yourself.
Be honest no matter what.

[One] from whom was your last text from?

- justin >/////////<

[Two] Where was your primary picture taken at?

-i was going for err... a contests in national bookstore but it was KINDA hopeless (i mean, look at it O_O), so i made use of it as my primary pics on all of my accounts :P

[Three] What's your middle initial?

-A for Aplasca

[Four] Your current relationship status?

-i have a feeling that it's pretty complicated... BUT studies first, after all :D

[Five] Does your crush(s) like you back?

-i wish >< i SO wish...

[Six] What is your current mood?

-the usual hyperness is filling me. add to that a doze of chocolate :D

[Seven] What's your moms name?

-Mildred but people call her 'milds' for short

[Eight] What color shirt are you wearing?

-my light blue pajama ><

[Nine] What was the last thing you drank ?

-H2O

[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?

-i think i don't regret anything :D

[Eleven] Have a crazy side?

-that's a given :P

[Twelve] Favorite song? (at the moment)

-dancing to the tune of Hare Hare Yukai by Aya Hirano ><

[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?

-read. period.

[Fifteen] Do you wanna date somebody?

-i've always wondered what a proper date would feel like... sure, why not? :D

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?

-according to kate, i have the same birthday as Ryo :D

[Seventeen] When was the last time you cried?

-first day of school. i'm trying to get over it :D

[Eighteen] Who would you do anything for?

-i do favors for everyone, given that it's completely a sane one and that it's beneficial for both us.

[Nineteen] Who is your idol?

-funny i don't have one O_O

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

-the expression of their faces. it tell you a lot about themselves, really. you just have to look REALLY hard O_O

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?

-if i say it, then it won't be a secret anymore... right?

[Twenty-three] Where are you?

-library of my house. yes, i govern this room. it's MINE.

[Twenty-four] Favorite movie?

-i don't have one O_O

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?

-my brother's still a kid, so i watch with him every now and then.

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?

-water and hotdog i just cooked ><

[Twenty-seven] Do you speak any other language?

-tagalog :P english :| i'm trying to learn how to speak in japanese, but i can tell you that i know the basic phrases :D

[Twenty-eight] Describe your life one word, what would it be?

-awesome :D

[Thirty-three] What should you be doing?

-doing my informal lab report :D

[Thirty-eight] Do you act differently around the person you like?

- i act the way i do to everyone. it doesn't matter who it is. plus, if i act differently, then how would the person i like like me back if it's not me he's falling for... right?

[Thirty-nine] What is your natural hair color?

-black. i'd like to believe it's black :D

[Forty] Who was the last person who made you smile?

-first and last person i'll ever mention on this survey... justin :D

fighting off the loneliness

i've always known i wouldn't fit in right away with my new class. and if ever i DO fit in, it's not to the point that i can stick to them forever and ever.

right now, thinking about it all, i guess i CAN live, but it's definitely lonesome and dreadful for me. although i can see that they're all fun loving people, i still believe they're kind of... hmm... stiff. like somehow, everything's structured. like on batteries or something like that. no, i'm not saying they're robots too. i hear them laugh, kid around and scream too, but i still miss the feel of having a regular class.

add to that the fact that in recitation, no matter what subject, once a question is asked, there's always an answer that'll get straight across in just a few sentences. they're all awesome that way. and mind you, in perfectly straight english.

what makes me sad though is that when the teacher says 'go group yourselves by friends', i'm left to just wait. i've got nobody to cling to, no group to claim as mine, and definitely it all gives you the feeling of being the 'new kid'.

this particular aspect bothers me. in fact, it's been bothering me since it happened last wednesday. ironically, it was the same day when kyla asked me if i was fine with my room (yes kyla, i'm admitting i lied. i still can't handle and figure the ropes).

maybe i've gotten used to dragging people with me. i feel hopelessly lost now. maybe i've been too sure of myself. the vice i'm turning to right now is actually dashing out of the classroom during break times. i feel that if i stay there, i'd look stupid alone.

again, i want to say that i'm tired of being alone. being along is painful for me, if you all just know. it's like saying i can't live with the people i know and cherish with all my heart. sometimes when i think about it, i still have this small urge to cry cause when you get right down to it, i still feel unhappy.

to admit, i wanted my fourth and last year of highschool to be fun. it is fun, sure, but it's not the fun that i thought it would be. i was thinking more of 'cherishing everyday as if it were the last'. how in the world could i do that if i don't feel happy 100% of the time? i still don't know where i can draw strength from, and by the looks of it, all i'm doing is plainly living for the sake of graduating. i want to live out the rest of my days in school in blessed happiness. is that too much to ask?

last monday, i finally knew who put me there. of all the people, it had to be ms. herrera. i couldn't even admit to her that i was feeling sad about the whole thing because she started saying 'sabi na nga ba kaya mo dun eh!'. she said that in such a happy way that i couldn't help but hold my thoughts and nod. she believed that i could do well, and i couldn't let her down. i didn't have the heart to.

so what am i left to do? it's all complicated, but i try not to think about being lonely in class. i'm glad angel's getting along just fine with the others. although i can't say i can do the same, i'm trying my best to BE better. God has some plan, and he's testing me O_O if he thinks i'll lose to this, then i hope he changes his mind.

i'm not losing. i'm going to fight off this loneliness, even if i have to do it all on my own.

-shing

japanese elective classmates! the HW!!! (for those who need it :P)

finally found a way! nyahahahahahahaha :D

for all of you out there without this, go ahead and dload it :D (you know you want too...)

so, we don't have classes today, so to add to your ever expanding list of HWs, i shall have to remind you guys that we ALSO have HW due on monday!!!

so don't forget to...

1. buy a short brown envelope with the matching plastic envelope
2. finish writing the 3-page practice sheets (after the one we did on monday...
yes! you CAN do it! you CAN finish it! hooray for you!)
3. place those practice sheets inside the brown envelope
4. paste the stuff that SHOULD be pasted on the back of the short brown envelope AND at the last page of your ntbk (provided that you also bought one :D)-- if you don't have that paper yet dload it! it's posted on the other messages :D)
5. ask your mom and dad about the 300 pesos that should also be given on monday (you know it's important... i mean, it's not for some other stuff you WANT to buy... this is something you NEED :P)
6. get your picture taken! you also need a 1X1 to stick on your index card :D (or if it's possible and if you're daring enough, draw a smiley >< some dude during my summer review did that on his card hahahahah. no wait. don't do that :P)
7. lastly, if you don't have art materials, do bring them to school on monday (colored pencils will do just fine... i think :D)

good luck! stay safe guys! i don't all of you to get sick ><

-shing