to be scandalous

today, we went to the heritage center to well, be drilled senseless about the facts of our wonderful school. truthfully, even if history bores me, i got a bit excitement in looking at old stuff that was TRULY fascinating. hahahahaha i loved the printer.... it didn't even need electricity to work! all you needed to do was turn this handle on the side and voila! printing express! hahahahaha. love it

the hollogram, as what the other classrooms told us, wasn't that much of an excitement. i actually got bored watching it talk about... things i couldn't really understand. and since i was infront, i saw the trick they were playing with. ha! you can't fool someone like me! wahahahahahaha.

the artifacts given from all around the world were really amusing too :D the one i love most was from... england? lol. it was just a set of small spoons and forks in one small box. looked totally cute. and i even bet it was from pure gold. goooooooooooooooooooooooold... sparkly gold....

the garden treck was kewl too! we took a lot of pictures, making lots of memories, and shouting at each other to take pics from afar. i borrowed shaniqua's cam a lot. i didn't bring one of my own. ehehe.. poor me, yes... a photographer and a lover of nature art caught in a middle of beauty without a cam. a shame...

at least shaniqua's cam is such a great life saver. hahahaha. she said she'd send those pics to me... can't wait.

i really like the pic with the ripe melon (?) in the midst of flowers. we made it a game to get people to see the melon (?) in it. wahahaha. of course, after taking their picture lol.

cam crazy, as my classmates have dubbed it. we even took a lot of pics in the classroom after! wahahahaha.

but before we got there, we had a little car problem. actually, i knew it was coming. i was still in my cam crazy mode when the truck that bumped into us went speeding by. i didn't take notice of it until i saw it when i got out of the bus to testify. yes, i may be silent sometimes, but i like debating. especially if i know that the driver's all wrong. he was fucking denying it!!! he was actually denying that her overtook us! whatever...

of course, back inside the bus, shaniqua told me she'd never seen our class so united until then. everyone was so happy, shouting, being hyper and repeating all over again 'happy birthday panag and mikole!!!'

i swear, we're a cool class. we just haven't seen each other's strengths yet. wait until the songfest maybe... we'd have to work together by then as a whole. lol

now, i'm actually saying i like our class, no matter how noisy we could get. we get along just fine and right now, i just found out that most of the people i didn't know were gamers, were hyper as well, and mikole and vega made it worthwhile to take a lot of photos... because their faces were sooooooooooooo funny.

and zaffy's laugh is so addicting.

and claire could be the next aircon model.

and i could be a photographer.

and shaniqua would be my assistant!

hahahahahahaha.

oh, and did i mention i didn't have a letter for my i-pod? wahahahahaha

-shing

the things in life...

for now, school's been lying low lately. we don't have that much HW in our hands, and now i still have time to catch up with a few things like checking my e-mail, chatting, going to long lost forgotten sites... those kinds of things. i really miss the feel of it. lol

a little while ago, sir. velarde said something about going to the production thing of the inquirer. i've always been a fan of theirs, well, since i started reading the comics page of the lifestyle section, and until now i like it. now we're supposed to go on friday, but yesss.... my schedulae has to take that privelage away with it... i mean, hello. i just can't give up on a subject only once a week to be met... a double period at that! i'm torn on what to do... hell, i can't even think of anything to do right now except try and forget about the hope in me that i'd be seeing one of the country's most top newspaper companies... it sucks to know you've come this far yet you can't lift your finger to touch it.

anyway, moving on, things are a bit stale as well. a load of things are happening between us all. faye's not eating well, kate's being a bitch, ichie's being so hyper... and me? i'm beiong hyper as well. or maybe it's the mask i'm wearing that's hyper.

i can't see the difference in it.

i've finally learned to accept that if i lose all my files that are stored in the other PC, i'd have to live with it. those were all my hard worked files btw, so maybe i'd have to cry a lot, but then there's no turning back. i think i won't have anything anymore by the time the PC's been rebooted and all. it sucks... a lot...

but starting from scratch can be good too XD

i've read sopmewhere that a writer writes the idea, lets it rest for a long time, picks it up again and edits them. i know i won't have anything to pick up anymore, but those materials were written from my heart. i KNOW i'll be able to write them. of course, in a much more better way and in a more suitable manner than what i've used before.

i'm trying not to lose my temper with my bro again. i mean, it gets hard when he's being so irritating and you're hungry and tired. there's something about that that actually makes you snap deep inside and all you can do is scream your head off at the nearest person beside you. it's a habit i have to stop, but then bad habits DO die hard. the hell with it.

there's something bothering me though... i just cab't seem to find any meaning to what's happening around me right now. it's like i feel empty even though there are a lot of things out there that's just TRYING to fill this gaping hole up. BUT to no avail. oh well.

sir john was reported to be seen in school a few days ago. hmm... i wonder if it were true... man... if it were, i would've knocked and asked him forsaken then... lol

-shing

the fight for our lives

this week went a little bit well. had our student orientation and all that, got GIFT course right, developed a huge amount of fear towards sir. velarde cause he suddenly put the mic infront of my face and asked a question... that was really scary!!! gawd...
we finally got that piano lessons with teacher rita done. i mean, for the whole week, we went back and forth from the Cultural Arts Blg. and our building to get:

a. our schedule

b. a pink slip

c. teacher

d. pep talk with ms. arlene

and a lot more other things like sunburn and a new 'secret' place. yes, our old 'secret' place (which a lot of people pass everyday) is now forgotten since it's in the gradeschool area (how i miss those days) and until the present, we can't seem to find a secluded area... (get your mind out of the gutter!!!) so i guess the entrance of the cultural will do just fine for now.
plus if it's windy, it's a lot cool to hang out there than any other place.

as for school work, i guess i'm slowly adjusting as to how my teachers give their assignments. thank god for today, i don't have much. just a few to study and i could start on my Asian His. Projects, work on the few stories i've left to rot and do the extra credit in english.

contrary to what i've said before, i'm starting to like school, now that i KNOW what to expect. especially journalism. oh yeah, even if i have a sir.eric-sir.john reincarnation dude for a teacher, i wouldn't pretty much care. research on unknown books are starting to become my forte XD

there isn't much to say about a love life. actually, i don't think i DO have one anymore. it's like i got over it. I guess bea was correct when she said i just had to let it be to forget.

this actually calls for a celebration!!! hahahahaha

i'm actually proud of myself for once cause i did all that math, crammed it in one night, and answered all the questions by myself. i didn't even need to look at somebody's else's paper for that! lol

my hair's turning wavy again, in a good way though. so long as it doesn't look PUFFY like what chie calls COTTON CANDY *grin* i'm fine. i actually like my bangs right now. they're so fucking straight ehehehehehehe.

i've never heard sanctuary by callalily before, but reading the lyrics and asking like a dozen of people in school, i am positive that it's a freakin' emo love song. okay, so why is that song for me again, kenji?

i have to wake up early tomorrow morning to find my way to school. this time, i won't be using a taxi to get there. oh dear no. I'll be suing the super affordable public transpo which includes the jeep, MRT and walking for free. all this just to play the piano? lord, what have you turned me into?

-shing

an introduction to sophomore year....

to add to the fact that i had my haircut almost recently, i can say that sophomore year IS one hell of a year... just like my hair XD

i've gone by the first 3 days of school in a flash, having a bit problems with my sleeping habits, cause biology IS taking my time to understand... plus a few more friend problems to boot. i know i shouldn't be complainig, cause i'm in the mercy of my parent's money, and i know i have to make the best out of this year, since i promised i'll show them all. maybe with loads of hard work, i'll survive this nightmare and get that test! ha!

me and kate are the loners of the group right now, being the main building's babies... i mean, we don't belong there!!! all of our friends are on the other side!!! how could the teachers be so cruel?

moreover, my classmates are not really that hateable... but.. yeah, the point is that their kind makes fun of MY kind... oh cruel cruel life... at least i have a few people i know on my side. they make life at least bearable...

the teachers i have right now are i dunno... they seem nice... they call me for recitation and i think i have a good reputation to them, well except my math teacher, which is still ms. jandusay.

all it think i have to work on right now is my voice... when i recite,i get all scaredall over and my voice suddenly goes down into an unheard one. shit.

now that i think of it, i still have my socalled distractions... but they're not much pain right now than last year... know what? i think what happened this summer was to my advantage after all XD

so okay, another week passed. i hope i'll live.

-shing

lost in confusion

'love is a very confusing thing...'

this is what a friend told me when i asked her to describe it for my interview. i guess she's right with that, considering that i'm totally confused right now, not to mention worried sick and stressed. is this how it feels then?
the way i wake up at night, the way some stray tears find it's way to my cheeks, the way my chest hurts while i hug my pillow closer... it's an unbearable pain i have to live with every night, when the clock ticks and ticks to count the seconds that have passed in misery.
i want it to end. i want the world to come falling on me already, just to make me realize that the magic's gone. that my dream's finally over and that i have to painstakingly make my way into the life of the living again; the life of sorrow.
somehow, words didn't fit to explain where i am now. i've tried explaining, but i just can't. i think my friend, bea, whom i've jut talked to thinks i'm a total idiot who runs around and around in circles and never finished a sentence. i DID try to tell her, but i don't think she just got it.
lilin_711: are you sure? or you think you're not worth it for him
shing: i still like... maybe possibly love him. but then...
shing: it's like i feel too guilty
shing: too tainted
shing: too low for him
lilin_711: it also maybe infatuation
shing: no, it's not
shing: i know it isn't
lilin_711: you really do like him don't ya?
shing: yeah i do
shing: ate nix made me promise not to close my heart on him
shing: should i keep my promise?
lilin_711: yeah..
lilin_711: what do you think is right?
shing: what i think is right
shing: is to let him heal by himself. i don't want to help him
shing: if ate nix's words are true
shing: that he still loves me, even just a tiny part
shing: then he'll come back for me
shing: right?
shing: so maybe i'll wait
shing: wait until he realizes it
lilin_711: yup
lilin_711: haha..
lilin_711: hope
lilin_711: but do know hoping means you're not sure
shing: yeah
that's probably the only solution i can think of right now. lost in confusion, lost in my own thoughts.

-lisha