blog dormant, be gone

i guess i haven't been really updating on blogger a lot, since i write on my DA account. i actually want to change that and say i'll use blogger for my ranting and DA for my works. yes, even if no one really does care about what i have to say, i'm still keeping this blog in check every few days, just cause i want to.

today marks the end of my dad's 11 month contract. right now, he MUST be cruising along the clouds and birds, on his way here. we'll pick him up at around 6 XD i just can't wait.

but alongside that, i'm kinda fearing that what i've got planned won't work at all. i know my dad's open, my dad's nice and he loves me a lot but up to what extent is his tolerance? what extent is his understanding? it's all up to guesses.

so far, i've gone through HALF of what MIGHT happen; the worst case scenarios playing over and over in my head. i don't really mind if he starts yelling, or getting mad. i'm playing it cool. that's what i've decided. there's no way i'll lose in this battle. we'll write treaties with fair judgement to end it, if it ever did start.

i'm not saying i've lost a lot in my life. no, i haven't lost anything. i don't want to start losing anything right now.

i don't want to lose love, found, lost, and then found again.

my mom just called. hehehehe. she troubles about my health. i find a lot of things wrong with me. the way my eyes go puffy and shitty when i'm sick, the weird way my colds affect my whole performance throughout the day... i don't like getting sick, and now she thinks i'm about to get glaucoma (?) cause i strain my eyes way too much.

i actually remember her telling me i might go crazy cause of thinking way too much at night.

maybe she's right about a few things, but being health consciuos isn't my thing. if it were, i wouldn't be fat now, right?

...

'swaying daffodils' is now my official piece for this year. hopefully, everything goes smoothly. i dunno why my mom insists on it, but i guess she likes it a lot and she misses tita amy a lot too. it was my tita's piece before, and tita bess's too. and now, it's mine, so i guess i have to work extra hard to read the notes XD

-shing