just being me

today, i woke up extra early just so i could go to those chuva math classes my teacher has. it's a wonder how mt math teacher could survive looking at us for about 6 times a week, teaching us effing hard algebra without twitching and getting mad. she's been my teacher since first year, so i'm lucky to have her teach me again. i like the way she does things, and the exercises she gives all of us, well... some are hard, and some are like easy enough. whether or not it's hard or not, it still trains me in an area my mind is slow at. MATH will always be a hard subject for me. ehehehe

piano went smoothly too. i mean, i actually did it! i can't believe it... i did a fast scale without stopping. muahahahahaha. it's a start, really. after that, back to the consultation room, and abby was kind enough to give me a ride home. ehehehe.

maybe i really should start thinking about the POSITIVE sides of people. mostly, i find some people damn annoying, but then, i don't know them personally as well. maybe they're acting like that JUST because. think i should change my views? maybe.

i went to cubao just a little while ago, alone, and bought school materials and project materials the like. it actually got me thinking: why am i alone? i mean, long before, i wasn't used to this kind of lifestyle; i'd always have someone tailing after me, holding my stuff, doing the math when it came to jeepney fares and all that. but now? i do everything. and all i could say is i feel a bit sad. life is so... boring without someone. plus the fact that all the people i passed had someone with them: friends, lovers, family... even saw a gay couple. ahahahaha.

reread teh blog again, and yeah... i'm really not sure myself. i mean, i have my doubts, i have my own little nagging thoughts. but i know FOR SURE that i still love him. sure, it's laced with hate, but still love nonetheless. i stil have the habit to write words related to him on my hand or somewhere in my notes... well, mostly on Bio :P but yeah... maybe it really would be best if things just went the way they were. i'd just decide when the time comes.

but right now, i'd have to focus all my 'will power' and 'brain power' on studies. they're being a bitch again, and i can't help but cram as well. :P ahahahahahahaha. back to writing and coloring, i guess.

-lisha