just ranting again

there are just some things i have to face as bravely and as maturely as i can.

for one, i can't act like the spoiled little girl i am because money actually has more meaning than the usual paper you see. because of the lack of it, i am now pushed to accept that i cannot cosplay on the 20th of december because we have no funds for it. as my mom puts it, cosplaying is a 'want' and not a 'need'. i do understand ma, and i'm trying my best not to think of it these days.

next i would have to rely on myself to get things straight. i cannot depend on anyone anymore to pull me out from this sadness i've suddenly felt. i KNOW i have to get over it. there's so much to do still and i can't simply start working because my emotions are pulling me back.

moving on, i've finally experienced the heave burden of having something that everyone likes but then i don't want it. the teasing and all that takes a toll on me and all that. i hate it. picking a dress last saturday took me five hours because not one of the dresses i tried fitted on my chest. YES, it's annoying like hell. i HATE it. when i was looking for a bra that'll match the dress, they didn't have my size!!! it's SO damn annoying. i don't know why people love having bigger fronts O_O it's such a burden when you have them

-shing