seats

(In dedication to every seat I occupied ever since 1st day, 3rd year)

During the 1st quarter, I had been placed in the middle second row; an amazing thing since almost every first quarter I suffered the pains of being seated almost near to the back. Sitting at the front was something new, definitely, and what made it more special was because it was the first quarter and on the very first day too. On my right was someone I never really knew and on the left, more so. But then I grew to know them both, in addition to knowing more about those at my back and those at the front. Ate kaye; responsible, no doubt. Dasom; the girl with the unmistakable cat-like grin and curly hair. Mia; a new side to the person who I considered as my classmate a year ago. Nuki-nuki; the girl with the amazing lego watch. Fats; I never knew she had so much food with her. Lyra; bubbly, there’s no other word to describe her. 1st quarter with them was spent cramming and reciting notes all together, while stuffing foodstuffs inside our mouths before the teacher could even see. I loved the people around me and I loved the seat too. Though it creaked and moved much (and in the latter part of the quarter, the armrest broke down), I love how It was located right there. From where I sat, I could just stare out the small window slit on the door and up to the sky. That must’ve been what I liked best, just staring.

The second quarter came with a new arrangement. 3rd row, right most side. I was stuck to the wall without anything to stare at but the whiteness off the wall beside me. To make up for the lost blueness, I would stare out at the back window, just above the aircon. The curtains never really did reach the edges, so bits of blue and grey would pass by most of the time. At first, I felt a definite hostility around me. Corro wasn’t much of a talker, Bea wasn’t either and Holly, not that much. But that was only for the first few days. Maybe it started with food again, or maybe because one of us was itching to say something, but whatever happened, the ‘cube’ that we belonged to became somewhat lively. Livelier than I could expect it to be. Holly burps a lot (which never fails to make me laugh), Bea had a sense of humor I never knew she had, Corro (thought still silent and all) always had witty remarks… and chocolate too! I guess I owe these three people gifts for Christmas: they just give and give food and chocolates ><

I’m writing this because I want to remember, when I get my new seat tomorrow, the times that people had proved me wrong. I’ve always felt like an outcast in all of this. It felt like if I didn’t know the person at all, I wouldn’t get along with her and vice versa. There was this one point I thought every seatmate I had must’ve hated me at one point, or another. Yeah, that was grade 5. I don’t want to say it outright, but I want to thank Holly most of all. I mean, she was my classmate during grade 5. She might’ve been one of the many people who shunned me. She could’ve still hated me until now, but I don’t think she does. I don’t really know if she remembers at all, but whatever. It’s best if she doesn’t, since I can’t remember much of those days anyway.

There are many more people in our classroom who I haven’t even had a decent conversation with. I’ll miss my old seat, definitely, but with what I feel right now, I guess changing seats wouldn’t be THAT bad at all. A new seat? Bring it on!