hell

so this is hell...

i can't keep it anymore.

i feel hurt, betrayed, almost useless... it's as if it'll only be a few minutes until i break down crying.

i've had the most suckiest day of pretending today. i mean, i wanted to hold my anger, and i usually do, but i just can't anymore. my partner for immersion does not get me at all, and insists on whatever she wants. i want to do things too. i want to cook too. why can't we just get along? why can't we simply prepare an overly manila-edged lunch without yelling?

i haven't felt this mad since grade 7. i can't believe i'm losing my head over food... over lunch... it's... shit... really... i can't explain myself right now cause i'm so freaking mad already....

why can't you be with me when i'm like this?

-shing